Sticks & Stones - Two Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is Grieving

When I was young, there used to be a rhyme that kids I knew would say to each other when mean words were spoken: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" As I got older, I realized this rhyme was completely wrong. Words can and do hurt. They cut, they leave wounds and, sometimes, permanent scars. I grew up as a Christian and remember sayings from the Bible like, "death and life are in the tongue", and many motivational speakers and spiritual leaders will advise us that "words should be used to build up, not tear down" (which is also part of a biblical scripture). Words have power.

As a medium, a seer who connects earthbound souls with their departed loved ones in Spirit, I believe wholeheartedly in divine timing and that when our soul releases from this dense plane of existence, it is by design - already known and set in 'time' before arriving in this realm.

Yet, I still cringe when I hear or read people attempt to console the grieving with, “it was their time” or “they’re in a better place”. Trust me, although you mean well, chances are the person you believe you’re comforting with those words is likely cringing inside, too.

Instead, consider acknowledging their pain, holding a safe space for them to share their feelings, and expressing your sorrow for the passing of their loved one(s).

Grief has its own path, its own timeline. Most of us will grieve our departed loved ones for the rest of our own lives. We may heal, we may learn how to navigate life without them, but we never forget. We may move forward, we seldom move on. 

I feel it is important to be compassionate and empathetic when we’re in the company of those deep in the throes of the grief process. Be mindful of your words. Do not assume that you understand what they’re going through. You don’t. Everyone’s grief is unique and deserves the space and respect to be wholly their own.

Many blessings,

Bliss